THE RABBI ASKED ME TO SHARE MY STORY WITH YOU.

I CONSIDER MYSELF A LUCKY AND HAPPY PERSON

THERE IS NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT THAT AND I HOPE IT APPLIES TO EVERYONE HERE.  
WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT IS THAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT I AM DYING.

I HAVE A CHRONIC INFECTION IN MY RIGHT HIP.  IT IS BEING TREATED BY MY TAKING AN ANTIBIOTIC FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.  UNFORTUNATELY, EVENTUALLY THE INFECTION WILL BECOME IMMUNE TO THE ANTIBIOTIC AND I WILL DIE.

NO ONE CAN PREDICT EXACTLY WHEN THIS WILL BE BUT I AM ALREADY IN OVERTIME. AND JUST IN CASE IT IS SOON, I NO LONGER BUY GREEN BANANAS.

MY DOCTORS TELL ME THAT I AM AN INTERESTING CASE AND THEN MUMBLE UNDER THEIR BREATH “NO ONE WANTS TO BE AN INTERESTING CASE”

IT STARTED FOURTEEN YEARS AGO WHEN IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT I HAD A MALIGNANT LYMPHOMA ON MY RIGHT FEMUR.  I HAD CHEMO AND RADIATION AND A TITANIUM SCREW INSERTED TO STABILIZE THE BONE

A COUPLE OF MONTHS LATER I DEVELOPED LYMPHEDEMA, A CHRONIC AND PAINFUL SWELLING OF MY RIGHT THIGH.  ABOUT A YEAR LATER, MY WIFE AND I WERE HIKING IN THE ANDES. MY THIGH WAS MUCH SORER THEN USUAL.   TURNS OUT THAT I HAD BROKEN THE SCREW.  THEY HAD TO OPEN MY HIP TO RETRIEVE THE BROKEN SCREW AND INSTALL NEW HARDWARE. THE HIP HOWEVER CONTINUED TO BE EVER MORE PAINFUL, LEADING TO DISCOVERING THE INFECTION.

DURING THIS PERIOD, JUST TO KEEP MY LIFE INTERESTING, I ALSO HAD THREE MELANOMAS, PROSTATE CANCER, A HEART ATTACK AND VIRAL MENINGITIS. THEN THREE YEARS AGO I DEVELOPED A COMPLETELY NEW LYMPHOMA IN MY L3 VERTABRAE.

I AM AT THE POINT THAT WHEN I VISIT A NEW DOCTOR AND HAVE TO FILL OUT MY MEDICAL HISTORY, I SIMPLY WRITE,  “ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT PREGNANCY.”

SO WHY DO I CONSIDER MYSELF LUCKY?  

I AM LUCKY BECAUSE MY WIFE AND I HAVE SHARED OUR LIFE AND LOVE FOR 54 WONDERFUL YEARS.  WE ARE FORTUNATE THAT WE SHARE THE SAME INTERESTS AND VALUES, AND A PASSION FOR TRAVEL.

I AM LUCKY TO LIVE HERE WHERE WE HAVE ACCESS TO SOME OF THE BEST MEDICAL CARE IN THE WORLD.

IN OUR TRAVELS WE HAVE SEEN PEOPLE IN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES LYING IN DARK, DIRTY, SWELTERING SHANTIES.STOICALLY LYING IN A BED OF PAIN, WAITING TO DIE. WE ARE LUCKY THAT’S NOT US. 

WE ARE LUCKY BECAUSE WE ARE PART OF THIS WONDERFUL CONGREGATION.  WE HAVE ALWAYS BELONGED TO A REFORM TEMPLE.  FIVE YEARS AGO, WE JOINED THIS WONDERFUL TEMPLE. WE FOUND MUCH TO OUR DELIGHTED SURPRISE THAT HERE WAS A TEMPLE THAT NOT ONLY TALKED THE TALK BUT ALSO WALKED THE WALK.

ALL TEMPLES USE SUCH PLATITUDES AS “THE FRIENDLIEST TEMPLE” AND “YOUR TEMPLE FAMILY.”  BUT IN OUR EXPERIENCE THEY SEEM TO FALL SHORT. BUT THAT WAS NOT THE CASE HERE.  THE RABBI APPEARED TO KNOW EVERYONE’S NAME.  HE GREETED EVERYONE WITH A GENUINE INTEREST AND GOOD NATURED HAYMISHKEIT.  

WE FOUND OURSELVES LOOKING FORWARD TO ATTENDING FRIDAY NIGHT SERVICES.   WHERE THE CANTOR’S SPIRITUALITY SHINES FORTH FROM EVERY PRAYER SHE SINGS. WE FOUND IT INSPIRING TO ENJOY THE RABBI’S SHARP WIT, CHALLENGING SERMONS AND YIDISHKEIT.

AT ONEGS WE FIND IT EASY TO SPEAK TO AND GREET FELLOW CONGREGANTS. OUR PRESIDENT IS CHARMING AND APPROACHABLE. OUR EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR IS THE MOST VISIBLE WE HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED.  HE SEEMS TO BE EVERYWHERE, SMILING AND INTERACTING WITH THE CONGREGATION.  HE SEEMS TO INSTILL THE SAME FRIENDLY ATTITUDE IN ALL THE TEMPLE STAFF. 

THERE ARE ACTIVITIES IN THE TEMPLE OF INTEREST TO EVERY AGE GROUP. FROM TODDLERS TO ALTE KAKERS LIKE ME. WE BELONG TO THE EMPTY NESTERS.  WE ARE A GROUP OF SENIORS WHO HOLD SEVERAL WELL-PLANNED EVENTS EVERY YEAR. OUR PRESIDENT’S DEDICATION TO THE TEMPLE AND TO THE EMPTY NESTERS IS INSPIRING

THREE YEARS AGO WE BEGAN ATTENDING THE RABBI’S TORAH AND BIBLE STUDY GROUPS.I HAVE TAKEN TORAH STUDY THROUGHOUT MY ADULT LIFE.  NOTHING I HAVE EVER ATTENDED COMES CLOSE TO STUDYING WITH OUR RABBI WHO  LOVES TO TEACH AND IT SHOWS. 

I PERSONALLY NEVER FELT THE NEED TO SPEAK TO THE RABBI ABOUT MY HEALTH PROBLEMS.  HOWEVER THERE WAS ONE OCCASION WHEN I NEEDED HIS EAR. OUR SON BRUCE PASSED AWAY WHEN HE WAS 45 YEARS OLD AFTER AN 8-YEAR BATTLE WITH CANCER.  THE RABBI’S WORDS AND COMPASSION WERE INSTRUMENTAL IN HELPING ME DEAL WITH MY LOSS.   

SO YES,  WE ARE INDEED LUCKY TO HAVE FOUND  OUR TEMPLE.

I AM A HAPPY PERSON

OF COURSE I WOULD BE HAPPIER IF I WAS NOT CHRONICALLY ILL AND IN CONSTANT PAIN. PEOPLE OFTEN SAY TO ME THAT THEY ADMIRE MY ATTITUDE.  BUT I AM NOT ALONE IN MAKING THE BEST OF A BAD SITUATION. A YEAR AGO VALERIE HARPER, BETTER KNOWN AS RHODA ON THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, WAS TOLD THAT SHE HAD 3-6 MONTHS TO LIVE. LAST WEEK, SHE SIGNED A CONTRACT TO APPEAR ON DANCING WITH THE STARS.  SHE SAID “I FEEL LIKE DANCING, SO WHY NOT?”

THIS PAST JUNE, MY WIFE AND I ATTENDED A FOLK MUSIC FESTIVAL IN NEW YORK STATE.  THERE WAS A WOMAN NEXT TO ME RECLINING IN A STATE OF THE ART WHEEL CHAIR. SHE WAS PARALYZED FROM THE CHEST DOWN BY A CAR ACCIDENT IN 1975.  DUE TO HER CONDITION, SHE COULD NOT SWEAT.  SWEATING IS NATURES WAY OF COOLING YOUR BODY.

IT WAS A VERY HOT DAY AND HER BODY TEMPERATURE WAS GETTING DANGEROUSLY HIGH.  HER HUSBND GAVE HER 3 COLD PACKS.  SHE PUT ONE UNDER HER HAT AND PLOPPED THE OTHER TWO DOWN THE FRONT AND BACK OF HER BLOUSE.  SHE LEANED BACK WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AND LISTENED TO 94 YEAR OLD PETE SEEGER DO HIS THING.

PEOPLE HAVE DESCRIBED BEING TOLD THEY HAVE CANCER OR ANY SERIOUS AILMENT AS FEELING AS THOUGH THEY HAD BEEN CLUBBED OVER THE HEAD, OR FEELING LIKE THEY ARE GOING TO PASS OUT. EVERYONE REACTS DIFFERENTLY AND ACCORDING TO HIS/HER OWN EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL MAKE UP. THESE ARE NORMAL REACTIONS.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS NOT TO DWELL ON YOUR CONDITION BUT TO BE POSITIVE IN PERSUING TREATMENT AND NOT WASTING TIME WORRYING ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL. FOR ME, BEING TOLD THAT I HAD AN INFECTION THAT WOULD ULTIMATELY KILL ME, MADE CRYSTAL CLEAR THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PROBLEM AND AN INCONVENIENCE.  SUDDENLY GETTING POOR SERVICE OR A BAD MEAL IN A RESTAURANT NO LONGER FELT SO IMPORTANT.

AND SINCE MY TIME IS LIMITED, I DO NOT WANT TO WASTE IT, FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF. I RESOLVED THAT WITH MY WIFE’S HELP AND WITHIN THE SCOPE OF MY EVER CHANGING ABILITY, WE WOULD CONTINUE DOING ALL THE THINGS WE ENJOY.  SINCE MY FIRST CANCER TREATMENT WE HAVE TAKEN 29 TRIPS TO 6 CONTINENTS.

I HOPE THAT THE WAY I DEAL WITH ADVERSITY WILL HELP SOME OF MY FELLOW CONGREGANTS LIGHTEN THEIR LOAD.

GOD IS NOT INVOLVED

BECOMING MORE OBSERVANT AND KOSHERING YOUR HOME AND PRAYING 3 TIMES A DAY WILL NOT BUY YOU AN EXTRA DAY OF LIFE. IT IS EQUALLY WRONG TO CURSE GOD FOR MAKING YOU OR A LOVED ONE SICK. PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN SICK EVERY DAY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME.

THERE IS NOTHING THAT MAKES MY LIFE OR YOUR LIFE MORE OR LESS IMPORTANT THEN ANY.ONE ELSES. GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS IF THAT IS WHAT IT IS

IT IS SAID THAT “PRIDE GOITH BEFORE THE FALL.” IN THE CASE OF THE ELDERLY AND INFIRM, THE EXPRESSION SHOULD READ “PRIDE GOITH AFTER THE FALL”

HOW OFTEN DO WE SEE CONTEMPORARIES BARELY ABLE TO WALK, REFUSE TO USE A CANE OR WHEELCHAIR.  THEY SAY, “THEY HAVE TOO MUCH PRIDE TO BE THOUGHT OF AS A CRIPPLE.”   SO INSTEAD THEY TAKE LITTLE MINCING STEPS TRYING TO STAY UPRIGHT.  THEY WITHDRAW FROM ALL ACTIVITIES EXCEPT SHUFFLING OUT TO THE CAR AND IN AND OUT OF A RESTAURANT.  THEN THEY FALL.  THEY BREAK A HIP OR OTHER BONES, AND SADLY ARE NEVER THE SAME AGAIN.  

I WELCOME ANYTHING THAT HELPS ME GET AROUND.  AS MY HIP JOINT CONTINUED TO DETERIORATE, I WENT FROM A CANE TO TWO CANES, TO A WALKER AND TO A PORTABLE ELECTRIC TRAVEL SCOOTER.  MY SCOOTER ENABLES ME TO TRAVEL THE WORLD.  I DRIVE IT RIGHT UP TO THE DOOR OF THE PLANE, WHERE IT IS GATE CHECKED. THE SCOOTER MEANS THAT WE CAN STILL TRAVEL OR GO FOR WALKS ON THE BROADWALK IN HOLLYWOOD AND GENERALLY DO  MOST OF THE THINGS  WE ENJOY.   

I APPEAL TO EVERYONE HERE TODAY WHO HAS MOBILITY PROBLEMS, TO HEED MY ADVICE.   PUT ASIDE FALSE PRIDE.  GET A CANE, WALKER, WHEELCHAIR OR SCOOTER, OR ANY DEVICE THAT WILL GIVE YOU A NEW LEASE ON LIFE.

USE YOUR TIME WISELY.  

NOW IS THE TIME TO REACH OUT TO ANYONE WHO WAS ONCE MEANINGFUL TO YOU BUT FROM WHOM YOU ARE NOW ESTRANGED. CHANCES ARE YOU CAN BARELY REMEMBER THE INCIDENT THAT TORE YOUR RELATIONSHIP APART.

INDULGE YOURSELF. STOP PUTTING THINGS OFF THAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO DO.  IT IS NEVER TO LATE TO MAKE A BUCKET LIST.  EVEN IF YOU NEVER COMPLETE IT, YOU CAN HAVE A LOT OF FUN TRYING.

CHANCES ARE THAT IF YOU ARE MY GENERATION, THERE ARE HOUSEHOLD THINGS THAT YOUR SPOUSE NEVER PARTICIPATED IN.  TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE TO TEACH THESE THINGS TO THEM SO THAT THEY ARE NOT LEFT IN THE DARK WHEN YOU ARE NO LONGER HERE.

BE NICE, PARTICULARLY TO YOUR CARE GIVER.  BEING SICK DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE A GRUMP. THIS IS TRUE OF YOUR ATTITUDE TO YOUR SPOUSE, PROFESSIONAL CARE GIVER OR NURSE.  

MY SON HAD THE RIGHT IDEA WHEN HE SAID IT IS BETTER TO BE HAPPY THAN MISERABLE.  EITHER WAY YOU ARE STILL GOING TO BE SICK, BUT PEOPLE WILL RESPOND IN KIND TO YOUR ATTITUDE AND WANT TO BE AROUND YOU WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY.

REMEMBER THAT IT IS HARDER ON SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU TO WATCH YOU DETERIORATE THAN IT IS ON YOU.

FINALLY IN CLOSING, LET ME SHARE WITH YOU MY MANTRA. I DID NOT WRITE IT AND I DO NOT KNOW WHO DID.  BUT I FIND READING IT TO BE UPLIFTING. I HAVE IT PRINTED ON THESE LITTLE CARDS.  THEY ARE ON THE TABLE JUST OUTSIDE THE DOOR IN CASE YOU WOULD LIKE A COPY AFTER THIS SERVICE.

IT READS:

THE PRESENT MOMENT IS THE ONLY THING THAT EXISTS.
THE PAST IS GONE—THE FUTURE UNCERTAIN.
RIGHT NOW IS THE ONLY TIME AND PLACE WE CAN BE HAPPY.
IF YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING RIGHT NOW, ENJOY THE FEELING WHILE IT LASTS.
REGRETS WILL NOT CHANGE THE PAST NOR WILL WORRYING AFFECT THE FUTURE. 

MAY WE ALL BE INSCRIBED IN THE BOOK OF LIFE FOR ANOTHER YEAR. 

Harvey